The scene is that Jamie had come to England for a holiday and I wanted to make it the trip of a lifetime so we were packing in as much in two weeks as we could so after visiting Edinburgh for a couple of days I wanted to surprise her by visiting St James park on the way home… She’d mentioned that Newcastle United was her favourite team to watch if they were ever on tv in Denver so that’s how we ended up on the exit slip road of a service area on the A1 01 August 2008
After charming the security guard at an off season closed Newcastle Stadium by telling him that Jamie had travelled 4500 miles to see the ground and would be so disappointed if she didn’t at least get to see the pitch and take it all in, and with a flutter of eyelashes (hers not mine) we were getting the stadium tour haha
So once we had taken a few photos and thanked the guy we got back in the car and set off back to Middlewich via the Humber bridge and then onto the A1 Jamie really needed to go to the toilet so at the first service station I saw I pulled of the A1 unfortunately I missed the entrance to the station forecourt and ended up on the exit slip road but Jamie was desperate so I pulled to the right put the hazard warning lights on and told her to hurry up because this is actually illegal.
Not long after I watched her disappear off towards the toilets a man in a high vis jacket knocked on my window and my heart started to race what the fuck do I do if he makes me drive off without Jamie? So I rolled my window down and it was at this point I heard in the broadest Geordie accent “Have you got waiting space mate?” Now writing it down it does sound ridiculous but if you can imagine that it was raining there were cars passing and I was panicking. “Look mate I know it’s not right but my friend has just nipped the toilet and won’t be long and I’ll go as soon as she’s back!” I then heard “No, have you not got a waiting space?” again in the most Geordie accent. “I am sorry sir but she won’t be long and I will be gone if you could just cut me some slack I’d appreciate it” just as I said this the passenger door open and Jamie jumped in, looking relieved but not nearly as relieved as I was as I put the car in gear and began rolling up the window. As I began to drive off I looked in the rear view mirror I saw a car on a jack and the guy in the Hi-Viz jacket standing by it….
WHEEL-BRACE! Shit! He just wanted a wheel-brace hahaha
Jamie looked at me wondering ‘What the hell are you on about?’ and I had to explain that there’s a guy back at the service area that must think I am a fecking retard and he is still stranded having picked the only knobhead on the A1 who doesn’t understand English. We just drove down the A1 laughing at me and wondering what the guy must have thought?
It still makes me laugh when I think of this story so I thought I would write it down so it’s not forgotten. She’s also never mentioned Newcastle since?