Lincoln is suffering again and the last couple of nights have been difficult for Jamie and me with him screaming throughout the evening then fussing throughout the night keeping us awake so we have reverted to taking turns with him on the sofa while the other sleeps.

We went to see the doctor again this morning in the hope that she mght be able to give us a plan or something to raise our hopes and spirits which are sadly depleated at the moment. The best she could do was to speak to one of the partners for advice and promised to call us back at dinnertime…well that was at 10:45 this morning and I have just left them a message asking why she hasn’t called, it’s 16:49?

It makes me feel (I can’t speak for Jamie) like no-one is really that arsed how hard it is and they think “you makes your bed…” and they might be right but living in this bubble you become tired and intollerent of others. Anyone that knows me I hope would say I’m pretty easy going but just lately the cracks are beginning to show, take yesterday for instance we went out for a meal and after waiting 45 minutes for our meal we were asked if everything was alright? I said no actually it isn’t…now I never complain but yesterday I’d had enough! Jamie was served peas her worst food nightmare even though the menu said savoy cabbage and all they could say was ‘the chef does that if he’s ran out of savoy cabbage?’ well that’s not my problem! Her excuse for our meal being late was ‘we have a lot of big groups in’ again not my problem so I asked her to pass on my concerns and she disappeared and we were there for another hour and no-one returned and they allowed us to leave?

We won’t be returning soon…

I am not a complainer but I’m tired and frustrated and lots of things that really don’t matter are beginning to irk me so much so that I had to tell the nieghbours across the road to move the van blocking our drive…I need to take a chill pill….

THIS BLOG WAS WRITTEN ON SUNDAY AND NOT PUBLISHED IT, I FORGOT…STRESSED I GUESS?

Last night was a good night we did bath-time with no-one crying or screaming and Reagan went to sleep with a full belly, I had to nip out to play pool but was back within an hour to find a happyish Lincoln feeding but once he finished he started again re fluxing and screaming which was so demoralizing but luckily it didn’t last longer than an hour and he nodded off in my arms which was lovely until I realised I couldn’t reach my red wine and Jamie was dozing on the sofa so I couldn’t ask her to pass it to me…..nooooooooo!

Anyway we went to bad later (around 11pm) and Lincoln fed every couple of hours and went back to sleep and it was only at 5:30 he really started agin with his pains but again he fell asleep on me then laying next to me in bed until Reagan woke around 07:45

That’s a good night sweetheart!

Lincoln’s Birth Story….

9 days late…I was so ready to meet our boy I tried everything to “jumpstart” labour but as we all know they come when they are ready and not a minute before. Thursday night we sat watching telly and during commercial I got up, one of my thousand potty breaks of the night, and HURRAY my water broke! I felt that little ping inside my and felt the gush and knew “it was time” FINALLY! I was so excited but know that these things time (how much I wouldn’t know until later) I was feeling mild contraction so we got up and went to bed fully expecting to be woken in the night. To my surprise I woke in the morning feeling absolutely no signs of labour, so off to the hospital we waddled. Nanny came to sit with Reagan while we got checked over.

We arrived at the labour ward and were taken into a room where you were checked over by monitor and they checked for proteins in my urine and then did the waters test and was told that my water had in fact broken! YAY! But then the midwife told me I would be taken upstairs to wait out labour as I was a vbac and I was NOT a happy camper. Obviously I would have never done anything to hurt you but I didn’t see how waiting in an uncomfortable hospital was going to put me in labour and surely going home and walking and eating good food and relaxing was the way to go? So after arguing with her a bit (only a bit hehe) the dr came in and said we were free to go but if you weren’t here by first thing tomorrow morning I was to be sectioned. The risk for infection is extremely high when little babies are left with no fluid. So daddy and I went home and were sure that I would be in labour before too long and would be back at the hospital.

Friday went on and on and on and on….Reagan was left at nanny’s house so that Alan and I could go walking and I could concentrate on my inevitable contraptions, right? WRONG! Soon the night was drawing in so in a last ditch attempt to bring on the pain we walked up to your nanny’s (which is not easy when you are 9 days overdue) and picked up your sister and stopped at the store and rented the movie, meet the Little Fockers, thinking a lovely spicy hot meal of fajitas and a good laugh would be just what mommy needed. Had a great relaxing night and went to bed desperate to go into labour naturally but sadly no. The good news is I had the best night’s sleep I’d had in ages! Which would prove to be the last good night’s sleep I’d have in a long long time….my little angel haha!

Well Saturday morning we woke up bright and early and though I was quite upset and saddened that I would not be having you naturally I was still very excited to know that I’d be meeting you very soon as I was told surgery would be at 9am! So we settled up, kissed your big sister goodbye and off we went! I was so mad at my body and so disappointed but knew in my heart that this was the way it was meant to be. We got to the hospital and after a very long frustrating wait were finally admitted AFTER 9am might I add? We talked to several people and I was offered an induction which would have meant I could have possibly had you “naturally” but decided that because of my previous section and the fact that you had been without fluid for so long the best thing for YOU was to go ahead and have the section. It was absolutely a decision made in your best interest because the last thing I wanted was major surgery but I will always say that it does not matter how your babies come into the world as long as they come in safe and sound.

At that point I was prepped and really started to freak out…not about you but about surgery. It was such a different experience to Reagan’s birth as her’s was an emergency and this time was much smoother and we were laughing and talking about you and chatting with the staff. I was walked downstairs and put into a room with your daddy and just stood there in silence with my head on his strong shoulder, always my rock, and praying that you would be ok and not hurt by the lack of fluid and make it safely into the world. Then the midwife came in and took me into the same theatre I had been in 16 months ago! It was special to me to know that I had both my precious little babies here and I felt safe, like I was in good hands. I was put up on the table and administered a spinal block. It was not like the epidural I remembered, it was very uncomfortable. It took a long time for him to find the right spot in my spine and he kept hitting a nerve that made my left leg kick and every time it happened he said you have to hold still! I wanted to scream I AM! Finally he gave me the medication and they quickly swung my legs onto the table and then all modesty and pride went out the window as they lifted my gown and just let me lay there while waiting for everyone to take their places. Your daddy was led into the room and took his place by my side, where he belongs.

The next few minutes was very weird and I started to panic a little as the oxygen mask was making me VERY claustrophobic and shaky and that feeling didn’t subside until they turned it on…DOH! So we waited and nervously giggled and Alan whispered into my ear as they were cutting you free and before you were even out my tummy we heard you cry your head off it was 11:55am September 17? The paediatrician said WOW I’ve never heard a newborn cry that loud! And we (because we didn’t know better lol) were smiling and SO proud of our big strong boy! I was crying tears of joy and listened to you really go crazy. They took you over to clean you up and let your daddy cut your cord, which they pointed out, was the very biggest cord they’d ever seen! No wonder you were so big and strong and I was so sick the whole 41 weeks! haha. They were in the long process of sewing me up and your daddy was holding you by my face so I could kiss you and look at you! I was so excited, my son! My beautiful, wonderful son that I had waited for so long for. The little man that perfected our family.

When they were finally finished with me I shook the surgeon’s hand and thanked him for bringing you into the world safe and they wheeled me into recovery to join you and your doting daddy. They were quite worried as my blood pressure was extremely low but I let the nurse worry about that and took you from your daddy and put you to my breast. You fed like a pro straight away and to be honest haven’t been up for air since and it’s been 6 weeks! You were a bit shocked I think, as you never had the experience of labour so you weren’t the happiest straight out my belly and cried quite a bit but seemed most happy in my arms feeding so that’s where you stayed. We were there quite a while as it took a long time to regulate my blood pressure, which I’m sure was a bit scary for your daddy but he never showed me any of that. Finally we were allowed up to the ward. I just couldn’t stop staring at you, so perfect, so small, my son.

We were up on the ward for a few hours just chatting and passing you between us and feeding. It was lovely! We sat there until 4:50 when your sister came to meet you for the very first time. And it was amazing and better than we ever could have imagined or had talked about. All she could do was stare at you and smile. Whether she knows it or not Reagan fell in love with you that day I could see it in her eyes. She kept trying to kiss you and hug you and it was great. I was finally able to sit with both my babies in my arms just like I’d imagined for the last several months.

I never thought I could fall in love with another child straight away! It’s a miracle how big my heart has become. You are the sweetest most beautiful boy in the entire world and I love being your mommy. It’s been a difficult start but you and I already have such a strong bond and special relationship between us. You are such a strong and social baby, always chatting and turning your head and eyes around and watching the world around you. You are the spitting image of your daddy and it’s lovely to look at you and see the person I love so much in the world? I love you so much every day and look forward to all the years ahead of being a family.

A question aimed more at Jamie’s American family and friends but would you have ever predicted she would become a ‘domestic goddess’ before her English calling?

She is very proud of everything she does but what she said to me a few minutes ago sums it “I smile everytime I walk past that curtain!” and she probably does! We love her and the enthusiasm she shows in all she does for us and herself (but not so much?) makes us proud too

WELL DONE DUDE!

‘Who needs Kirsty Allsop!’