Lincoln’s day began with a lie in UNBELIEVEABLE? there was three of us laying in Mommy and Daddy’s bed desperate for him to wake up so wee could go downstairs and start opening presents eventually we heard him and Reagan ran back into their bedroom to wish him a happy birthday.
Jamie asked me this question tonight and I honestly couldn’t answer it straight away.
I want to be a good husband, I love being married to Jamie I love the security and as it happens the freedom too. For me being a good husband is most of the time my first thought is how can I make Jamie happier than she is at that moment or how I could make her life easier, I am selfish at times but hope that I never over step when I need some me time? So being the best husband I can be motivates me.
As a dad I have a massive fear of failure, I don’t worry about many things but not being the best dad to my two children can overwhelm me at times because it is easily the hardest thing I have ever done. I want them to be be proud of me as much as I want to be proud of them and always dwell on my mistakes whether actual or perceived which can effect me for long periods where I struggle to drag myself back to give 100% again. So they motivate me firstly to be a good dad and secondly to stop dwelling on mistakes (not always easy)
To be a good person…I want to be liked I also want to be popular too it is nice when people want to be with me and talk about me in a nice way. I try not to bother with people that don’t matter but feel bad if I let down those that do, I am talking about what motivates me remember as you read this and not what I believe I succeed in! So I motivated to be a good friend brother colleague or even acquaintance.
Sport is not one of my strong points but 8 ball pool I do play competitively and have done every Wednesday for nearly 30 years and I captain the side i have played for for most of those years winning a few trophies along the way but we havent won the league since 1994 and that is something I would love to captain a side to do again. So I feel pretty motivated every Wednesday to achieve that again.
These are the things that motivate me and when I hear evidence that I have succeeded in any of them I get more motivated because its nice to get a pat on the back once in a while.
The Phoenix 5 fell walking society set of for another weekend in the lakes here are some photo’s
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I know she wasn’t pushed because Jamie would rather cut herself than ever harm either of those two babies so I can only imagine what went through her mind as she stood at the top of the stairs helpless as she watched Reagan turn to her and then fall from the second step all the way down to the front door. She said it happened in slow motion and it was so upsetting to feel all the emotions that went through her mind as she stood there.
Dashing down with Lincoln in her arms screaming at Reagan, who was trying to get up up, to stay still mommy’s coming, and trying to be calm too (and failing!) Jamie called me and I took the call on hands free as I drove down the M56 towards Denton at 70mph and all I got was SHE’S FALLEN DOWN THE STAIRS WHAT DO I DO? but I could also hear Reagan screaming in the background to so I knew it wasn’t too serious and by that I mean she was breathing, broken bones can be mended etc
She told me what had happened and that Reagan was holding her arm so I suggested handing her a drink because she will either try to use the arm or not and that will give us some idea of what we are dealing with. She didn’t take it so we decided to head off to Leighton to get her checked out and x-rayed if necessary and I would head there after calling at Denton my intended destination.
On the way to the hospital she fell asleep which in hindsight wasn’t the best option in case there was a head injury but on her own mommy needed to get to hospital quickly and safely which she did. At hospital Reagan started to look a lot better and by the time she was x-rayed she was using the arm which is always the case apparently but better to be safe than sorry and she was given a badge for being brave which was easily the best thing in her eyes of the whole day.
She is bruised and shaken but no harm done so we bathed her and put her in bed where she went straight to sleep it was only then that Mommy broke down sobbing as the pressure was lifted giving her thought of What if…!
OK Podcasting this is my first attempt and its a video as well, having watched it back I am not sure the video was necessary with me just sat there talking but hey ho it is what it is. I don’t think Spielberg has anything to fear…?
Its done in one take too so I had to just keep talking which was very difficult so I just talk a bit about Jamie Reagan and Lincoln anyway here it is…
As you may or may not know Jamie has enrolled in the Open University and works very hard to fit it in with her already very busy schedule of being a parent but it is expensive so she applied for financial aid to help pay for her chosen coarse the first module of which needs paying very soon.
Waiting to hear from them for the last two weeks she was over the moon to get her application back in the post on Saturday morning hoping it was good news only to be destroyed by a letter of refusal because her identity documents were not signed by a police officer “with powers of arrest” ? The requirement only said a serving police officer or retired police officer and did not detail any other criteria so when you walk in to a police station as Jamie did and asked the person dressed in a police uniform wearing a badge and number behind the glass counter she assumed that she was a police officer as I or anyone else would. Jamie handed the documents along with the requirements leaflet to the officer who signed everything and Jamie paid the £35 fee.
The refusal letter also stated that the deadline had now passed to reapply which was a real kick in the teeth because it meant Jamie would not be able to continue with her course because of this “error” I thought straight away this was bullshit because nowhere in the paperwork or on the internet did it say “with powers of arrest” and Jamie was really upset so I got on the phone to protest but they were not open on a Saturday of coarse which left Jamie believing that she would have to wait until February to reaply and maybe not be able to continue her course.
We decided to go and get another signature on Saturday costing another £35 but found out while there that even a retired police officer has no powers of arrest so the OU contradicted itself anyway, so this was the ammunition along with the fact that they had taken 6 days longer to process Jamie’s paperwork than they stated it would take, to give us another chance.
This morning armed with papers signed by an active police officer with powers of arrest we were prepared if required to drive to Milton Keynes and hand it to them personally so at 10am on the dot we called and got through to a lady who could not believe what we were telling her and that it had cost £70 to get the documents signed. She took it upon herself to personally deal with the case and told Jamie to send it to her and she would re assess it. Having been really upset all weekend and stressed about having to stand her corner on Monday morning with the possibility of being blow off by the OU “because the cut off time for reapplying” had past, the look on Jamie’s face was a picture when she heard this and she even danced around the kitchen even though this was just being allowed to get reassessed…
We did it, we did it, we did it!
I hope she gets the funding, I might have that day off I could get lucky ;-)~
I just did bedtime with mommy as we do almost every night and ended as always with me left in their bedroom to read a story by “Blackberry light” to Reagan but tonight she threw it all back in me face and no matter how soft my kid gloves were she just threw it all back at me until I give up and walked away…FFS…?
Parenting is so hard I am not sure I am cut out for it, I hate feeling like this because it make me feel inadequate and selfish… I honestly thought why doesn’t she think about I am feeling? I ended up sitting on the our bed listening to her whinge thinking that and also feeling incredibly embarrassed for not rising above it all and guiding her to become a better person.
Not sure the person I can make her will ever be good enough!
I feel incredibly lucky and incredibly stupid today having just narrowly escaped possibly killing myself by electrocution through being really really stupid. Last weekend I hung the TV on a bracket in the corner of the room but the wiring was really untidy looking so this weekend I decided to neaten it up which meant creating an extension lead the correct length to reach the new TV position. Now I can wire a plug and do know a little bit about electrics but generally stick to wiring a plug and get someone that knows what they’re doing for anything else.
Having wired the plug end I needed to measure the flex to the correct length and for some unknown reason I plugged in the newly wired plug then proceeded to measure the flex marking it with my thumb then got my pliers and cut on the mark
BANG! BIG BLUE FLASH!
I stood there trying to work out what had happened and why I wasn’t in any pain? Realising I had plugged it in felt soooo stupid then looking down at the flex and my blackened hand I knew I had been very lucky not to have killed myself whilst being watched by Jamie Reagan and Lincoln.
Luckily for me the hand holding the flex was blackened but not burned and the other hand was holding the plastic grips of the pliers so I avoided an electrical shock but I was stunned for a few moments then the shakes started but I needed to make sure Jamie was OK because she was as frightened by it as I was.
Once UNPLUGGED! and safe I finished the job it was only a little while after that you sit back and think what could have happened and the consequences…
Potty training is going well (with only the odd accident) so Mommy treated Reagan to lunch from Cynth’s