When Jamie gets home sick I feel so helpless and even more responsible, just lately she has been gushing at how great it is to talk to her mom and how fantastic she feels after speaking to Emily she also feels sad that a lot of our expat friends get to go home once in a while (most of whom have no children yet) and for us that seems to be out of reach right now as a family. I made her a promise when we first met and decided to live in England that if she ever needed to go back home we would find the money so she could go, but now with two children it’s a harder decision than it was before because yes she could go on her own but that would mean leaving them here with me. She could also take them with her but the cost starts to go up and travelling alone with 2 toddlers doesn’t sound like fun to her at all.
For me to go to would break the bank right now and would restrict the time we could spend in the states due my holiday allocation so it’s probably not the best idea even though I too miss the states and would love to go back as well for a break. When I got home last night Jamie was really home sick partly because its holiday time and I know it’s the hardest time for her anyways but she had also spoken to her Daddy on Skype which had made her day/week/month… because they don’t seem to speak that often? It had the opposite effect to because not only does she love speaking to him it reminded her just how much she misses them all and made her home sickness all the more painful.
If we won the lottery we would be back in the states in a heartbeat but with our finances as they are at the moment and the fact that we now have 2 children to pay for, it’s a huge decision to just say let’s all go see her family and one that maybe a little out of our reach right now. That said if Jamie felt she needed to go we would find the money from somewhere and off she would go. She loves her family and always wishes she was closer to them but sometimes little things gang up on her and it’s hard for her not to feel that her homesickness may crush her? She knows I would do anything I could to make her feel better and she also knows nothing she says will stop me worrying about her either.
I always feel I should apologise to everyone concerned because I am the reason y’all are never together but it wouldn’t change anything I just know without you all on the phone on Skype, IM or on Facebook you should all know that you make Jamie so happy that you’re there and she does wish she could come see you more often. Thank everyone of you!