Like our first date?

All day, I have felt so nervous probably because it was me who had to organise Reagan, Lincoln and Billy without my usual social secretary to help. Not that it was a problem I had all day to do it but strangely I felt like I did when I first went to see Jamie in Denver I felt panic that I would fail that I would forget something or that I would let everyone down. These thoughts were not ‘concious’ thoughts just my inner confidence being low….?

I think I have always been like that, and I am not sure why because I am a confident person but it takes thought and effort rather than being spontaneous. I know I am capable of anything but that unconscious fear of failure needs managing?

Anyway I made to the train with 15 minutes to spare, found a seat, and sat back with a Jack and Coke and reflected on the fact that I did it all everyone was happy and hopefully Jamie will be in Camden when I get there!

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Early night

Having had a terrible night’s sleep last night when my brain would not switch off after playing pool I lay in bed awake in the dark  tonight although I wanted to veg on the couch after tea, without Jamie who is in London, I decided to go to bed at 10pm which is an early night for me…

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Official announcement

Today it was announced officially that I am leaving the Willows in an email to all surgeries.

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The call

With my day set out to be at Birchwood all day and Mommy’s day so busy that any glitch could bring it all crashing down I left the house followed by her and Reagan heading to an orthodontist appointment. As I got onto the M6 my Carphone rang it was Jamie…

“The school just called, Lincoln is OK but he has been hit by a car, what do I do?”

“Oh Fuck” was my response and I also braked in the second lane of the motorway which was so scary.

I was now travelling at 70mph and the absolute worst scenarios were coursing through my mind, and I had to keep concentrating on driving while processing what Jamie had just told me…

He was hit by a car driven by a teacher travelling at 10 to 15mph after stepping out from behind a parked car luckily he jumped so went over the bonnet of the car rather than if he was planted and it knocked him over or worse ran over him…

He said he was fine staright away and the school was just over the road so he walked there and was looked over by them, it was only after Mommy had visited him and assessed the situation that we could calm down a bit only for him to text an hour later to say his leg was now beginning to hurt. This was probably the shock and adreneline wearing off and the true extent of his injuries coming out, so mommy took him to A&E to checked out properly.

They were told that he had suffered minor soft tissue damage and would show bruising tomorrow or the next day and to manage any pain with ibuprofen but there was nothing to worry about which is what we suspected but better to be safe than sorry!

It was the worse feeling I have experienced as a parent that moment when I heard the words “HIT BY A CAR” and I never want to feel like that again.

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Beginning of the end?

For a long time now it has been frustrating not to be involved in the management side of my job and watch the erosion of everything I built and supported over the last 13 years by the new regime. When one of the “fabulous four now three” wanted a video chat about a work related matter today I joined as normal and did my best to help, during the meeting they mentioned they had heard the news that I was leaving so I began to explain that I just thought it was time for a change at which point they cut me off and brought the meeting to an end…?

I get it their job will be more difficult without me but don’t be rude it nothing personal unless they make it from their side, I will continue to give 100% as I always do until the day I leave because that is who I am, but if the next 5 weeks become difficult the only thing that would make me sad would be I don’t get to see the aftermath (if there is any) and watch their frustrations at the corperate bureaucracy slowing their progrsess down and stopping the job… because I will not be there!

We shall see what the next five weeks brings and deal with it as it comes!

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Plywood grades

Having worked in my shed all weekend using the plywood I bought a few weeks ago it became apparent to me that the quality was not as good as I would have liked for my bench and something I need to educate myself on because in my opinion I have done a reay good job building it but it is being let down by the face splintering very easily?

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Wet Saturday

The rain just lately has been non stop, well thats how its felt and when I got up I was hoping to be able to walk Billy and get some wood cutting done in the garden but one look out of the window to see it pouring with rain yet again dashed that idea. Although I did manage to take Billy and get wet I went into my shed and got cracking on fitting the table saw into my bench and did all the cutting I needed to do inside with extraction on and a dust mask so not really ‘dashed’ just replanned?

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Resignation accepted

Today, after swapping our Internet router yesterday I was experiencing low speeds which was annoying because the Draytek 2865 is a far superior unit the the proprietary the one BT supplied. I spent the morning troubleshooting why we were barely getting 7 or 8 Mb and not the 140+ we should be getting but became frustrated that all the Draytek documentation and forums were not fixing the issue.

I knew from experience that if I rang support, they would help, so I decided to stop wasting time and just call them. I am glad I did because they were great and got me top speeds within minutes, I would have got there eventually, but I ran out of time. What I did realise is how much I enjoyed trying to figure out how to resolve the issue and how long ago I had that sort of satisfaction?

Anyway, once the internet was back on and upto speed I got an email from my boss accepting with regret my resignation so that is it I am on my way tp pastures new, although I still have to sign my new contract which I will do once I have sat down and read through it fully at the weekend.

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An extra day

February the 29th a leap year gives me an extra day to love my family and for me that means a lot. I want as many opportunities to be there for all of them as possible,

I just spoke to Jamie who was laying in bed in a hotel in london after going out to see Mrs Doubtfire in the West End and I mentioned how easy video chatting is because it’s how we began…?

I miss her a lot but she is living her best one and will be home tomorrow night and the team will be back together again!

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The first 15 Years

We had to be apart for our 15th anniversary for one reason an invitation to Westminster and the Houses of Parliament for a party that I would not have allowed Jamie to miss even on an important date in our calendar. An opportunity like this may never happen again, we will be together tomorrow and for the next 15 years and beyond so I made her go and enjoy tonight with her American friend at the home of British politics.

Our first 15 years have been packed with so much joy. I can’t believe how much we have done and how strongly our relationship has grown. We are such a great team and laugh every day we just are perfect together and my favourite saying is “Loving Jamie is the easiest thing I do!

Happy Anniversary, dude, and here’s to the rest of our lives together ??

Let’s face it if you were here, this would be us right now. rolls eyes lol

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