Rather than dwelling on the past, we should make the most of today, of the here and now, doing all we can to provide pleasant memories for the future…If you are still in the process of raising children be aware that the tiny fingerprints that show up on almost every newly cleaned surface, the toys scattered about the house, the piles and piles of laundry to be tackled, will disappear all too soon, and that you will, to your surprise, miss them, profoundly.

Thomas S. Monson

I wish I was like Mommy who’s priority and first thought is our children she thinks about their happiness and well-being before her own prioritising making them happy and creating pleasant memories. I’ve made a lot of pleasant memories and hope to make many more but many of those are because Mommy made me do those things, if I wasn’t pushed I would have been at home making sure washing does not pile up and toys are tidied away and those fingerprints are eradicated.

I know I will miss them all but thats just me, I know if I keep those things in order then Jamie is able to do what she does best, be a Mommy, and everyone is happy.

Reagan will be a teenager soon enough and Lincoln will be in High School before we know it both are growing up fast and will be gone into the world and I will miss them profoundly but I can only be me in the meantime just the best team member I can be….? #theforsters

She can be charming when she wants to be and after spending last weekend, really not seeing eye to eye Reagan realised with the help of Mommy that she was in the wrong, even if she doesn’t think so (I was in the wrong too) she needs to build a bridge. I didn’t need her to but I also knew it would help so we went to breakfast this morning at Cafe Bon Bon in town and it was lovely to walk into Middlewich on a lovely morning and have an hour together, just us and chat.

No not charitably but checking there is nothing sinister going on, with this lump under me right arm. Today they took some bloods to test and I am booked in at Leighton 7th March for a scan so we’ll see?

Speaking of giving blood my car went back into the shop barely able to change gear by the time I got it on to Town Bridge Motors car park I just left it in the middle because I could not select reverse to put it in a space. Not sure my wallet has blood but I fear there will be attempts to get some from it in the coming days….!

No use worrying about it, it’s only money!

Car repair was done today the clutch was bled and refilled no leak was found so although I got a working car back they did not fix anything that was broken they just said “see how it goes” for £270 That did include a service (engine flush, oil filter, pollen filter, engine oil and fluids check\top up) the big cost was labour £180 or 3 hours of expert help.

I couldn’t fix it myself nor could or want to service myself either, it’s one of those necessary costs of running a car. If you don’t have it serviced it will cost in the end and if it’s broken it’s no use until it’s fixed. Annoyingly necessary for peace of mind but “see how it goes” could mean don’t close your wallet just yet!

How could I have raised such an egocentric child I don’t understand it, I was told at the weekend that Reagan is the image of me which is possibly true if referring to likeness but she does not embody any of my beliefs or morals.

I believe I am equal but also that if I can help then I will, I believe that you should think of others before yourself. When I do things I hope I set an example like working hard will reap rewards or being kind should be done not for something in return but just to be kind! It does not appear much or any of who I am has been passed to her.

I like to be appreciated and I am motivated by gratitude but in no way is that why I do things I do them because that’s who I am. It absolutely grates on me that I have brought her up to think people should wait on her and do things for her, that she can leave mess and chaos behind her and there is no consequence, tidying up is done by others.

Yesterday, she baked for hours and didn’t do any of the clearing up, as if once the nice stuff is done that’s it I am on to something else now. Tonight she had a shower and left her clothes in the bathroom not a big problem but minutes earlier got cutlery for herself even though Lincoln asked her if she could get him some and she ignored him, I had asked her to put her boots in the closet but kicking them in the corner was better than doing what I asked. To sit down I had to move her coat off my chair and move her snack wrapper, plate and cup she used, to the sink. All little things but annoying when she is showered and ready for bed feeling a bit tired, yet has not done one single thing that helped anyone else other than herself.

If I speak to her about it  I am “having a go at her” or “she’ll do it in a minute” and never does.

Sometimes you judge yourself on how successful you are as a parent and in this I have failed.