Spent the day not doing a great deal but managed to do quite a lot, I walked to see me mum while Jamie and the kids were at church then spent a couple of hours weeding the yard. We enjoyed the sunny afternoon laying in the garden after I mowed the lawn and we all had an ice cream
Today, we watched the coronation of King Charles III as a family, and I really enjoyed that, plus the British do pomp and pageantry so much better than anyone else.
It frightened me yesterday that I literally could not throw a dart and that something I truly love doing was going to be taken away from me. I dreamed about it last night and was desperate to throw a few darts when I got up, ironically I went to me shed before taking Billy and the first two darts I threw hit treble 20 even if the third was nowhere near.
Tonight I threw some great darts effortlessly and realised the yips are in the mind and last night no matter what I did made it worse? Jamie said “You’re probably trying too hard” when I told her and I remembered that when I stood at ghe oche today and just threw because throwing makes me happy, and it worked. I was so good I did not watch to stop it felt so good.
Lots of twenties, a lot of trebles but far too many 26s and 45s may not be world beating standard but I can work with HOPE!
I have noticed that I have a problem with my throw and release, which is annoying, and I am not sure why or when it started? I absolutely love throwing darts, and I am doing it completely for fun, so it would be heartbreaking if I am getting the yips!
Today, I set up one of the iPADS out of the wardrobe that have not been used for months as a dart scorer, and it was so frustrating to struggle to even throw a dart, let alone play well.
Tonight was a logistical conundrum sorted out by me picking up Reagan from horse riding after I finished work, Mommy not only had to drop her off earlier once she finished work and leave her there, before taking Lincoln to play cricket at Weston (the coldest ground ever) I needed to go to the Legion to make it official that my team Steventons will play pool from there. I cooked Reagan and I some tea and prepared the same meal for Mommy and Lincoln so that Reagan could just cook it for them. It’s just another day in our parenting life…
Lincoln has become obsessed with his room and how it looks to the point he has cleaned it tidied it and started buy stuff to make it look like he wants it to, like lights and mouse mat that has leds. This is astonishing as we do not know why it has become such a change from the norm, the best bit is Reagan hates to be out done and has began to out do her brother crazy as it sounds both children have become room proud
I did not publish a blog yesterday the first day I haven’t for a few years now, I wrote one, but it was too emotional when I read it back so left it in drafts. I titled it “If I had a pair of wings” because I regretted what I had done earlier in the day and it was eating at me from the inside. Reagan is the one of three people that are the corner stone of my happiness and such a superb intelligent bright and beautiful human being who I am in awe of every single day, but she has the ability to push every one of my buttons.
She just makes me so frustrated and angry by doing nothing, she just does nothing unless it directly affects her in a good way? If she is getting something or having money spent on her, if the activity benefits her she’s adorable but anything else she is not interested and goes out of her way to make everyone else’s lives a misery?
I picked her and Lincoln up from church and from the moment they got into the car she was nipping at him, but I did not intervene, this is just sibling rivalry after all, but he dibs bath first and an argument ensued with Reagan protesting that he can’t do that, and I said nothing. On entering the house she proceeded to upset everyone in one way or another until I could not bite my tongue anymore…
The next 5 minutes I regret, I lost my temper and to be fair Reagan stood her ground which was pretty ballsy if I am honest but unfortunately she has to abide by the rules she has to know her boudries and throwing stuff can not be tollerated so she lost her phone for an hour. THis being a consequence to actions that do not fit what Mommy and I would like.
I was so mad I was literally shaking and I am sure I would have been frightening looking which is not how I want to be but is unfortunately exactly how I am.
When I get like this Mommy Reagan and Lincoln close ranks and leave me to deal with my emotions while they just get one with being a family, which is how it should be.
My Shed needs to be myspace and somewhere I can go and chill. I don’t need wings to get there nor do I want wings anytime soon, I just feel so bad that I shout so much…so long as we are all healthy that’s all that matters, except being happy is important too!
Today is the 16th July and WordPress says I am on a 77 day blogging streak because I missed writing a blog on 30th April so this is going to e back dated just to see if I can repair a streak?
So here goes, back to the future!
Added a Winmau surround and halo light to my setup,
Reagan became a teenager today and I have to say what a beautiful young girl she is becoming!
