2022

2.4 Children

Watching a short film about homelessness in America and how there are half a million people living on the streets and it got me thinking that I have have never experienced poverty or been homeless, and that makes me privileged?

I have the “perfect” husband, wife 2.4 kids life it wasn’t handed to me though I went to school and got an education, I got a job the day I left school and barring a couple of short times of unemployment I have worked for everything I own today. I appreciate the help my mum gave me allowing me to live at home until I could build a foundation to fly that nest and able buy my own home. Without that it would have been a lot more difficult and it would have taken longer but I am sure I would have made it eventually and the benefits system here in Britain would have made sure I was OK until that happened.

In America it is so different, there is not much help once you fall off the property ladder and becoming homeless is your only option. They do not have any kind of catch net to help enough to satisfy your basic needs so once down you are kept down and I am very often asked why didn’t you go to live over there and I find myself trying to explain America’s reality and that although I didn’t realise it back in 2007 we had a far better chance to succeed here than there!

You don’t need to look far past “the American Dream” to find American citizens in poverty and homeless with no hope and it’s shockingly contrasting to what most English people think its like….?

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Lager craving

I didn’t want to write a blog about a craving but I have to say if someone offered me a cold pint of lager today I would have drank it not sure why but today was a day I craved alcohol not to get drunk maybe but to quench my thirst and lager was what I thought would do it? I got home around 3pm and drank a cup of coffee and soon after a bottle of Lucozade then at teatime I had a can of coke all things that have taste water was not going to cut it, I sit here now at 10pm still thirsty but halfway down a glass of fizzy water an this is sort of quenching my thirst finally but as I flicked through posts on Facebook earlier I saw a couple toasting with lager and white wine and I thought it looked fucking amazing, wierd I literally haven’t thought about it for weeks but today was just one of those days I had to abstain hour by hour rather than just living my sober life?

135 days sober, dry December, January, February and about to complete dry March but today wasn’t easy

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Mommy’s Day

Being a Mommy was one of the very first things we discussed when our long distance relationship was becoming serious and she was absolutely adamant that she was put on this earth to be a Mommy and she has proved that to be correct having the privilege to see just how great she has been from the heartbreak of Kermie to being the greatest Mommy to our two children they could possibly have!

She will always say she doesn’t deserve a day but it is the absolutely the least she deserves for the incredible way she takes on being Mom everyday, she said she would like breakfast in bed and to go for a family walk which we decided would be to ‘Starbys’ which definitely get Reagan on board, who can try and run (or ruin) the the show if she digs her heals in because she is not in charge.

It was so fun though both children love Mommy so much and after breakfast in bed we all went to Starbucks enjoyed a coffee in the sun then back home, I’d invited Nannie to join us for lunch so went to pick her up before making everyone a sunday roast beef dinner. All in all a really great day and especially because the last thing Jamie said to me before going to bed was “Thank you I really loved today!”

Mommy surrounded by her world
Getting in on the act

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A day not wasted

A day spent pottering in the sunshine is not a day wasted. With the sun out again and really warm I got out into the garden and sorted out my tools clearing the sheds and wood store so that we could see “the wood for the trees” so to speak mowed the lawn and dismantled the old water feature with the intention of creating Mommy’s new water feature. Mommy Reagan and Lincoln went swimming and left me to it, I am a home boy at heart and there is nothing I love more than pottering and I got a lot done as always when in my element when Jamie and the children and Billy are around too there is no better day for me even though Jamie would think I am daft to waste my day like this I absolutely love it!

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132 and still counting

Just a quick update on sobriety I have just completed a third of a year without a drink and I have to say it is pretty easy now 99% of the time I literally don’t think about having a drink even at the usual pinch points of cooking food at teatime or Friday night etc. I really have got into the habit of not drinking even when I go out I generally drive which has always stopped me drinking but even if we go out as a family and I am not driving a fizzy water with ice and lemon is my go to drink.

The 1% is definitely a steak night or a really special night when a glass of wine would be the perfect compliment to the meal that’s when it really is sort of disappointing to not be able partake in a glass of red wine!

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Wow, How proud am I?

Reagan’s first parent teacher meetings since starting High School was nothing to worry about because of how well Reagan seems to have adjusted to that huge transition from Primary school and all that is entails but there is always that concern that she may put a brave face on it for us and be struggling at school!

We saw Reagan’s music teacher as well as English, Maths, Geography, Science and History in 5 minute slots on zoom one after another, Miss Tarbuck said Reagan was a joy to teach and really is enthusiastic about music and her violin She mentioned the “recital” of Ode to Joy she did with her best friend Charlotte was so good she wants to show the video to the Head Teacher and put it on the school website….I can’t wait to see and hear it myself too!

Miss Bennett also said Reagan was a joy to teach because of her attitude to learning and her enthusiasm to do well, she went on to say her reading is well above average but we need to encourage her to read factual non fiction as well as the fiction she loves to read because it will help broaden her vocabulary.

Mrs Gruppioni has the hardest class to Reagan because Reagan does not enjoy maths, that does not mean she can’t do it she just doesn’t get excited about it and her grades show this. That said there was nothing to worry about we were told she has been moved to the second row from the front because even though she knows the answer the teacher can not hear her teeny weeny voice all the way from the back of the class Again Reagans attitude and willingness to learn was mentioned so not a favourite but the same glowing report again

Mrs Young began with “Ah Reagan, we all love Reagan if we had a class full of Reagans our job would be sooo easy, she is a credit to you!” She loves Geography and excels in all aspects her scores have kept improving from a solid 60% earlier in the year steadily rising to 90+% in her last measurement She said if she was to say anything critical some times she could use more detail when describing things but that would sound super critical but that’s what I would have to be to find fault.

We’d heard a story about Mr Woolleys faux pas about not ever wanting to visit America because it is full of Americans, earlier today, not realising Reagan was American. Her classmates immediately spotted it and all looked at Reagan but although it was said in jest Jamie was looking forward to making him squirm a little during this meeting. He carried on the in a similar vein to Reagans other teachers praising her attitude and enthusiasm, and liked the fact we informed him that she loves being taught science by him but he informed us that he was a relief teacher and would be leaving in the next few weeks. Time to bring up the anti American comment and to his credit he fronted it out not denying it and qualifying it by saying he just doesn’t like the people they vote in to run the country lol He was suitably squirming when Jamie assured him that she was just winding him up and not to worry she didn’t like Trump either!

The final meeting was with Mrs Hopper who teaches Reagans favourite subject History and was as gushing in her praise of Reagan as the rest saying how impressed she was with how much interest she has in the subject and her willingness to read the books she is being taught from even though it is not necessary to read them. There was slight criticism about how she can sometimes forget what the question is asking and go off on a tangent but in History the answer unlike in other subject is and has to be more specific but she is a joy to teach and is excelling at the subject…

I don’t think I could be more proud of her than I am having heard all these glowing reports, it’s not easy to go up to High School at 11 years old a point in everyone’s life when their body is changing and the world is getting bigger there are lots more pupils at High School and there are pressures to fit in all of which she is navigating really well while excelling in all her classes, she just blows me away.

WELL DONE LITTLE DUDE I AM PROUD OF YOU!

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The Gadget Show (Cont’d)

Still not had my Dash-Cam fitted which is annoying considering I feel it was over indulgent and since Sunday we have had quotes to get the bathroom tiles fixed and the patio door fixed which combined will cost over a grand plus add on to that the cost of living soaring with energy prices doubling and petrol prices at £1.67 per litre I have considered cancelling the order.

It was booked for Monday and the called and said they couldn’t do it Monday they will come Tuesday but 10 minutes before they were due Tuesday I got a call saying due to “tech illness” they won’t be able to fit it until Wednesday but that was not suitable for me so I had to put them off until Thursday (tomorrow) It’s annoying but I am hoping they do it finally because they already have my money so they don’t really care?

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False dawns

This moment happens every year around the Equinox when the sun comes out and the frosty morning air is quickly warmed giving the impression that spring has sprung and summer is on its way. To Jamie though it means we can have all our meals on a blanket on the lawn because its summer again finally…?

Just after I took this photo a cool breeze made her shiver and realise like every other year that its a couple of months premature to be sitting on the damp cold grass in a t-shirt and she went inside to fetch a jumper and finished her dinner stubbornly sat getting a cold arse?

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The best….?

I was looking at the piece of paper below today and remembering how I felt when I wrote it, and having read a comment on an older post from 2014 over the weekend it got me thinking about how I feel today?

I still feel like the luckiest person alive and how wonderful life is everyday, I try to be in the moment and apreciate what I have and not worry about the future or regret the past but it is very dificult to do. It’s always difficult to just be content with who you are what you have and jus be yourself and requires you to think about it all the time or you forget and the pressures of life can take over? Also realise not every day can be a great day some days are not going to be as good as your best ones but thats ok too!

I just want to be “the best person Jamie has ever met” past present and future, and believe, if I can always strive to achieve that status it will stand me in good stead in our relationship. I love her so much!

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Always the sun

On Friday the weather was markedly better the sun came out and everything just seemed better even if nothing else had changed I just felt better, empowered even, like I wanted to do stuff?

I tried to fix the door, I mowed the lawn, I prepared the bathroom wall behind the tiles that had fallen of and the ones that were loose, I did the laundry it has just been a lovely weekend for pottering and as I have said many times on here I can get an awful lot done if I am allowed to just potter.

Trying to fix the door
Tiles removed ready for plastering

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